They despise the "judicial activism" of honorable men and women in black robes but incite the actions of low lifes in white sheets.
They demand that women cede their unborn children to the state's custody and then freely give the resulting lives away in their stupid wars.
They adore the Second Amendment but belittle those who exercise their First Amendment rights as "Communists".
They fund new prison construction by decreasing funding to programs for the poor and elderly.
They cannot understand the difference between a fictional woman on TV having a child out of wedlock and the causes for the real thing.
They spy on peaceful protesters but support the voices of Hate Radio.
They see no irony in spending billions of dollars on a B-2 bomber that can't be left out in the rain while crying about the cost of school lunches.
They believe that "Reform" is only applicable to programs for the poor and middle-class, never the wealthy or Corporate America.
They demand that everyone else live their idea of a Christian life but want the rest of us to forget about that camel and the eye of the needle and that "least of my children" nonsense.
They hate movies containing scenes of people enjoying sex but love movies made by Republican campaign contributors depicting the mass killings of foreigners.
They despise all the evil, satanic Communist nations except those with large, cheap, non-unionized, illiterate labor and prison inmate pools.
They define anyone who speaks out against their political schemes as "un-American".
They define the First Amendment as your right to openly agree with everything they say.
They allow an admitted liar, Rush Limbaugh, to define American politics for them.
They actually believed that Ronald Reagan was capable of an independent thought.
They destroy civil rights while demanding "state's rights" and "property rights".
They applauded the pardons of Richard Nixon and the Iran-Contra criminals but go into fits over a failed land deal in Arkansas.
They include "Right to Life" and advocate the increased use of the death penalty in their party platforms.
They believe they are responsible for the fall of the Berlin Wall but want to build its replica along the Mexican border.
They can, with a straight face, declare ketchup a vegetable in school lunches.
They believe John Wayne and Sylvester Stallone movies are historically accurate.
They cut off legal services for the poor and limit death penalty appeals but increase tax breaks for corporate legal offices.
Two words, Oliver North. Enough said.
They used to be the party of Lincoln, now they're the party of Proposition 209.
They demand mandatory sentencing, the mandatory death penalty and mandatory drug testing but not the mandatory payment of minimum taxes by the wealthy.
They claim to speak for their vengeful God in saying that AIDS is His punishment on homosexuals and drug users while ignoring the millions of heterosexuals and infants and other innocents dying of the disease.
They see no irony in hypocrites like Newt Gingrich and Pat Robertson defining "Family Values" for the rest of the nation.
They have convinced the "liberal" media to call strike breaking scabs "permanent replacement workers".
They think that the "private sector" is the answer to everything, even to the environmental, health, unemployment and worker safety abominations caused by the "private sector".
Their idea of public housing includes guard towers and cell blocks.
They killed the "War on Poverty" and replaced it with the "War on the Poor".
They call organized labor busting laws "Right to Work" laws.
They invented terms like "Rightsizing" and "Downsizing" to excuse Corporate America's unmitigated greed.
They campaign on a platform of "self-reliance" and then use your tax dollars to bail out savings and loans, the nuclear industry and the defense contractors.
They consider the middle-class and the poor and women and children and workers and the elderly and the disabled and the homeless and teachers and Blacks and Latinos and immigrants and union members and government employees and environmentalists to be "greedy special interest groups of the liberal Democratic Party" but kneel in worship to their wealthy masters in Corporate America.
They hate flag burners but ignore cross burners.
They think that strip clubs are immoral but strip mining an example of capitalistic ingenuity.
They prefer big business to big government.
Their preferred method of deceasing inflation is increasing unemployment.
They spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about other people's urine.
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