A Look At The Trolls Voting For Impeachment

In so far as so many of the morally pure conservative fanatics in Congress apparently didn't get the very loud and distinct message that the voters gave them in November, perhaps it is time to see just what right these fine, upstanding individuals have to continue this ridiculous impeachment nonsense.

The impeachment process will depend on proving a number of charges (none of which can honestly be termed "high crimes and misdemeanors") including obstruction of justice. The sexual accusations which these whores for the Religious Right wallow in, may not be included in the list of charges but, had these salacious details not been so gleefully told and retold in the dark closets of Congress, most of the rest of the story would have been ignored in favor of stealing more from the poor to lavish upon the rich. Since these filthy little details so completely distracted Congress from doing anything useful, the charge of sexual misconduct must be equally aired by the Far Right's own perverts.

Let's begin our Alice in Wonderland journey through the Congressional looking glass by checking out the factual records of the thirty or so Nazis who were sadly re-elected and see if they might be better served simply shutting the hell up and getting on with the nation's business. (I thank Bruce Shapiro's editorial for the Nov. 30, 1998 issue of The Nation for the vast majority of the following facts.)

Dick Armey (Rep. - Texas) has been one of the loudest bleaters in this sorry national spectacle. Nevertheless, the Dallas Observer has reported that this saint of a politician sexually harassed female students while he taught as an economics professor.

John Peterson (Rep. - Pennsylvania), otherwise happily little known outside of his district, was charged with "creating a hostile work environment" in his office by six different women. His feeble and senseless excuse? "I may have been an excessive hugger."

Dan Burton (Rep. - Indiana), the troll who wanted the Justice Department to investigate Democratic fund raising but demanded that Republican actions not be included in the investigation, not only accepted illegal contributions from Sikh temples and from Zaire's reviled and filthy despot Mobuto Sese Seko ( which Burton was forced to return when the facts became known and reported) but he also attempted to extort a huge donation from a lobbyist for Pakistan.

Good old Tom DeLay (Rep. - Texas) attempted to find Congressional support for the easing of regulations prohibiting certain kinds of dumping of pollutants in order to please a Mexican cement company which DeLay's brother represented in the position of Washington lobbyist.

Jay Kim (Rep. - California), received $230,000 illegally from South Korean corporations. Kim, one of the very few Republicans who have been forced to actually pay for the crimes they so gleefully commit both before and while in office, pleaded guilty to this offense and is currently wearing an ankle bracelet ordered by the court. This silly little person, whom his wife described as, "the most crime-committing person I know." While he was defeated in his last effort to keep stealing from and abusing the American people and their Constitution, he will still be defiling his Congressional seat should Hyde find some way to force that nonsensical impeachment vote before the end of this Congressional session.

Helen Chenoweth (Rep. - Idaho), that nasty little lover of white supremacist groups, and whom we have lowered ourselves to discuss in other articles, accepted illegal campaign contributions which originated in Hong Kong. She also failed to disclose $50,000 in secret financing in 1994 and delayed an admission of fault until the day after House deadline for filing ethics complaints.

Bill McCollum (Rep. - Florida) illegally paid his top Washington aide $100,000 in questionable "consulting" fees for campaign work.

Our newest troll in the Speaker of the House's seat, Bob Livingston (Rep. - Louisiana), along with his criminal friends McCollum and Robert Stump (Rep. - Arizona) obstructed justice when they were informed by Robert McFarlane of illegal Contra funding by Oliver North (as described in his diaries).

Robert Barr (Rep. - Georgia), after divorcing two wives and working on a third, not only sponsored that inhuman and nasty 1996 Defense of Marriage Act but also licked whipped cream from the breasts of two women at a 1992 celebrity fund-raiser.

Our boy Burton and J.C. Watts (Rep. - Oklahoma) claiming that his motto is "Character is simply doing right when no one is looking" spent years trying, apparently unsuccessfully, to hide his out-of-wedlock children.

Ken Calvert (Rep. - California) has self righteously claimed that "We can't forgive what occurred between the President and Lewinsky". This same gremlin was caught by police in 1993 receiving oral sex from a prostitute and then tried to flee the scene. This whore for the oxymoronic Religious Right and the Christian Coalition has been repeatedly sued by his ex-wife as an alimony deadbeat.

Back to that foul little Henry Hyde (Rep.- Illinois) claimed that an affair that he participated in and which destroyed a marriage when he was 41 was a "youthful indiscretion". This little person was also sued by federal bank regulators for participating in decisions that cost American taxpayers tens of millions of dollars while serving both on the board of an S&L and as the S&L industry's prostitute in Congress.

Finally, that ancient and noisome racist Strom Thurmond (Rep. - South Carolina) fathered a child with an African-American women while he was serving as his state's segregationist governor. He is also described by his staff as "The Sperminator". (I have to wash my hands ten or twenty time after writing that. Back in a moment.)

Overall, this Congress has criminal past (and present) roughly four times greater than the nation at large. The Republicans are, surprise, surprise) three times as likely as the Democrats to commit criminal or ethical violations. These facts should be presented to every American who still whiles and cries for the impeachment of Clinton even though there is abundant proof that many Americans have been guilty of the exact same "offenses" and most likely at one time or another lied about it. The words of Mark Twain ring so delightfully at this sad, sad point in our history, "Congress is America's only genuine criminal class".

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Copyright 12/10/98