Trivia 1U


Paul Begala, Democratic booster and MSNBC commentator, "George W. Bush wants to go back to the 1980's ... Gary Bauer wants to back to the 1580's." I'll agree with the knock on Bauer but my money says that Bush only wants to take us back to any time before civil rights legislation and Roe v. Wade and all of the other obstacles to a conservative's Nirvana. (1)

Since the end of World War II, America has bombed the following countries. My question is a simple one, in how many of these countries did our attacks result in the formation of a Democratic government?

China (1945-1946), Korea (1950-1953), China (1950-1953), Guatemala (1954), Indonesia (1958), Cuba (1959-1960), Guatemala (1960), Congo (1964), Peru (1965), Laos (1964-1973), Vietnam (1961-1973), Cambodia (1969-1970), Guatemala (1967-1969), Grenada (1983), Libya (1986), El Salvador (1980's), Nicaragua (1980's), Panama (1989), Iraq (1991-1999), Sudan (1998), Afghanistan (1998), Yugoslavia (1999).

The answer? Not one nation became enamored of the Democratic form of government and, in most cases, became far more despotic than before our attempt at conversion through the mass infliction of death and destruction. How many more people will we have to murder before we get the hint and quit trying to beat other nations into submission as some sick form of foreign policy? Want to bet it never happens? (2)

This just tickled my funny bone. It isn't political but it is, if you think about it, a perfect statement for the 1990's. Porn star Annie Sprinkle, "I want to be the Shirley MacLaine of porno".

Or consider this the newly elected motto of the 1980's and 90's (the vote was one for and none against). From singer Elvis Costello, "I'm not even sure what I want, but that's not the point - it's that I want it now."

This is a wonderful example of the exact opposite of how politicians think. Albert Einstein, "I think and I think for months and years. Ninety-nine times, the conclusion is false. The hundredth time I am right". Politicians stop the first time and just decide that their conclusion is right and then allow no facts or reality to intrude on that decision. (3)

Okay, now it's time for some information that I offer just for the sake of sharing it and your knowing it.

Percentage of children born last year in New York City who are living in poverty - 52%.

Number of states in which families who live at or below the federal poverty line who must still pay state taxes - 19.

Number of times that a white man who killed a black man has been executed in Texas since 1860 - 0. (Rah! Rah! Vote for Georgie W. Bush so that no poor old white fellow has to answer when he just kills some black guy!)

Percentage of days since Dec. 28, 1998, that U.S. or British forces have abstained from bombing Iraq - 50%.

Value of the U.S. military equipment budgeted last year and destined for anti-Hussein groups - $97,000,000.

Amount actually sent - $0

Number of the 25 species "seriously" affected by the 1989 Exxon Valdez Alaskan oil spill that have fully recovered - 2.

Amount of the $5 billion that Exxon was ordered to pay in punitive damages in 1994 that it has paid - $0.

Amount of interest that Exxon has earned by investing those funds - $5 billion. (4)

Two voices of pure stupidity, commenting on the Littleton tragedy.

First, that ideal of those who never let the fact that they have no common sense nor understanding get in the way of them making inane and insane public blatherings, Charleton Heston, "If there had been even one armed guard in the school, he could have saved a lot of lives and perhaps ended the whole thing instantly".

Next, words from Minnesota's moronic and bullet-headed Governor, Jesse Ventura, "Had there been someone who was armed, in this particular situation, in my opinion, it may have stabilized ...I believe it supports conceal and carry."

What is the main problem with the statements of these two imbeciles? It's the fact that there was a deputy sheriff present at the school who, after firing his weapon and missing everything he aimed at, fled from the scene in hopes of saving his own life. So, with someone who carries a weapon every day of his life unable to stop two very committed killers, these two bozos quoted above think that arming every civilian in America will somehow make it all better. Want to bet that the number of murders in America would, if you'll excuse the expression, shoot up dramatically? What excuse for these killings would they then produce?

Now for two more truly amazingly inane comments on the tragedy.

First, from Barbara Wheeler, former President of the National School Boards Association (and this typifies our local school board members perfectly), "That's one of the great mysteries - how do you identify a student who is going to act out?" Well, maybe by noticing when they start dressing in black trench coats, speaking in German and making Nazi salutes to one another, and filming a fantasy video for a class project showing them killing their fellow students. That, possibly, would be a good place to begin, Ms Wheeler.

Next, the editor of the Chicago Sun Times, Nigel Wade, on his decision to run the story of the massacre in Littleton on the second page but the story of Serbian troops machine gunning a convoy of Albanian civilians, "We're putting the story where adults will find it ... giving parents a chance to decide whether their children will see it ... [The story] could harm or frighten vulnerable children." I'll let the silliness of this statement speak for itself. (5)

Just an interesting little anecdote I'd like to share. A few months ago, I was sitting in stop and go freeway traffic in Los Angeles. The car just ahead and to my left had four, count them, four "Honk If You Love Jesus" bumper stickers across the back bumper of his van, as well as assorted other trite Christian bumper stickers front and back. Well, the car beside me and behind this gent held a fairly old, white-haired fellow wearing the neck piece of a Catholic priest. He glanced at me and smiled gently, then, looking directly at the bumper stickers, gave a short and quiet honk of his horn. The van slammed on his brakes, shot out of the vehicle and proceeded to yell obscenities at the old man until, finally, giving the old man the one fingered salute, he stormed back to his van and sped on his way. The priest's complexion was pure white as he, too, drove on. Moral of the story? Be very, very careful if you honk at one of these bumper stickers. Jeffery Dahmer was reported to have bought a car with this particular addition already installed and never took it off. This fellow could have given Jeff a run for his money in the area of outright psychotic behavior. Oh, and this nut is still out there somewhere.

I suppose that this is enough for now. We'll talk further at a later time.

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Copyright 6/30/99