What To Expect From President Tumbleweed


Recent polls have shown Tumbleweed edging away from Gore. While I wouldn’t read too much into this sad, if true, information, I also wouldn’t allow it to become a self fulfilling prophecy, either. Frankly, with the media owned and operated by conservatives, I really wouldn’t even put too much faith into the information in the first place.

What I would suggest that this frightening trend might teach us, though, is that we need to insure that those close to us who are leaning towards Tumbleweed are reminded that a vote for Tumbleweed, even if it’s just another insane and useless vote against Clinton, will result in a future that no intelligent American wants or deserves.

Consider this; if Tumbleweed is elected, he will undoubtedly carry a few other moronic Nazis into Congress along with him. That would cede control of our freedoms over to Corporate America and the NRA (remember that quote from an high ranking executive of the NRA, “we’ll have an office next to his in the White House”?) for the coming four to eight years.

Thus, you can expect to see more guns on the streets and in criminals’ hands, weapons with more firepower and bigger clips for ammunition and more tragedies like Columbine and Pennsylvania and Tennessee and Oregon and more and more children killing other children and adults going on murder sprees simply because their angry, stupid and armed.

You can expect to see and hear even more from that nimrod, Charlie Heston, who will become important less for having anything intelligent to offer to the debate over guns but far more so because he’s famous for the useless skill of acting as if he is intelligent.

You can expect to see more and more Americans die at work because safety is expensive and Corporate America isn’t much for spending money that doesn’t end up right back in their own pockets.

You can expect to see a return to that Reagan inspired time in the eighties when real human beings were being laid off and abused and over worked by the creatures that infected the executive suites.

You can expect to see more bail-outs of financial industries (insurance and stock plans and retirement plans) once those executives get done looting them for their personal gain and pleasure, leaving the billions of dollars in losses for real human beings to clean up through your tax dollars.

You can expect to see even more instances where a perverted, sick and greedy little nobody like Michael Milken, who stole hundreds of millions of dollars from real human beings, will suddenly find themselves teaching a class in Business Ethics at a major university such as UCLA (this is already a reality, folks).

You can expect to see the water you drink and the air your breathe turn brown and filthy from the pollution that the owners of the Republican Party will gleefully spew into your world with little or no fear of punishment from the government or the courts.

You can expect to see the Ten Commandments in every public space (but only the version that the most powerful Christian hypocrite in office at the time declares the law of the land for that week).

You can expect to see the tax dollars that you pay for the public education of your children being diverted into the pockets of greedy, nasty little gnomes who will start charter schools or Christian schools based on the ideals of Corporate America such as creating the next generation of robot consumers and religious bigots and other mindless Republicans.

You can expect to see America go to war over and over but never for humanitarian causes but always to protect the financial interests of Corporate America and the Global Economy.

You can expect to see many more cases of Americans dying from drugs prescribed by their doctors that were never tested thoroughly and which, like the diabetes drug Rezulin, killed over 60 and injured hundreds of others Americans, when safer and equally effective drugs were kept from them because the manufacturer couldn’t afford to buy the right Congressmen to get their product “fast-tracked”.

You can expect to see the Department of Education, the Department of Commerce, the FDA and the ATF gutted and their enforcement abilities neutered so that the fabulous oxymoron of the “Christian Conservatives” can steal your taxes for their churches, the trucking industry can force you to share the road with exhausted drivers in poorly maintained and totally unsafe trucks, the drug industry and food industry won’t have to spend all that money making certain that the products they sell are safe and so that the idiots who think that the Constitution begins and ends with the Second Amendment can sell more and more guns to senseless, careless people who shouldn’t be allowed to be in the same room with a gun let alone suddenly have the right to own twenty or thirty automatic rifles loaded with Teflon-coated, armor piercing ammunition.

You can expect to see hundreds of thousands more Americans being killed by over zealous and out of control police who will have little care for your rights since they’re fighting their own vision of the long ago lost “War on Drugs”.

You can expect to see the construction of hundreds more prisons to house those who escape being shot but are convicted for the horrendous offense of using those drugs which have no current profit potential for Corporate America.

You can expect to see more and more of your children smoking and drinking at an earlier and earlier age as Corporate America bends their little minds into those of unthinking consumers and unchallenging users of whatever their favorite drug addicted or alcoholic athlete or TV or movie star uses. (Witness the Sprite commercials which have athletes telling you not to listen to other athletes but to drink Sprite because it will show that you’re thinking for yourself !?!)

You can expect to see those parts of the Constitution that slows the Rabid Right’s push for the Fourth Reich in America to be ignored or altered and Amendments added to that wonderful document that will steal away forever every freedom you once took for granted.

You can expect to see millions more children going hungry and without medical care or growing up in unsafe and violent neighborhoods while the Rabid Right cuts the taxes for the wealthy more and more while convincing the middle-class and the poor, who will be expected to make up that shortfall, that the trickle down theory is about money and not urine.

You can expect to see the Rabid Right declare that the need to raise taxes is all the fault of those damn “Liberals” when their insane tax cuts for the wealthy comes at the same time as the next Wall Street-caused depression and our nation’s tax revenues are cut by hundreds of billions of dollars.

You can expect to see your child forced to openly pray to a God he or she may not believe in with the threat of expulsion for refusing.

You can expect to see the Supreme Court and most of our federal courts infected with more and more mean spirited, Constitutionally illiterate, apathetic and conservative judges being appointed and contaminating our legal system for decades to come.

You can expect to see that same judicial system declare that state’s rights are paramount to federal laws which will allow rapists to go free (since any city attorney that screws up the case will have to let them go - see Los Angeles and New York for magnificent examples of inept city attorneys) and murderers take a hike (see that trial that set the bar as low as it can go for ineptitude - O.J.) and cops go back on the beat after lying in court and killing and maiming and framing innocent Americans whose guilt lies only in the color of their skin or their zip code and on and on.

You can expect to see the government take a firm hold on every woman’s reproductive organs in order to force them to bear children they neither want nor can care for while, at the same time, the government makes it harder and harder for a single mother to obtain a level of security for their children that comes close to even that of a Third World country.

You can expect to see America forced to kneel in worship before the Republican’s twin gods; greed and guns.

You can expect to see, gentle readers, America following in the footsteps of every other nation on earth which has allowed itself to be ruled by religious fanatics and other purveyors of evil and greed and malevolence. If Tumbleweed succeeds in lying his way into the White House with his fabricated offers of decency and “compassion”, then you can expect to see America begin its long slide into irrelevance and eventual break-up into tiny nation states, each preaching a slightly different message culled from another misunderstanding and misreading of their bible. You can expect to see Americans trying to flee the persecution from the Right filling refugee camps with those who commit the ultimate crime of thinking for themselves. You can expect to see those camps full of misery being filmed by reporters from nations enthralled with the self-destruction of a once caring and decent nation and society.

Yes, all this and more you can expect to see because, gentle readers, Tumbleweed isn’t just a lair and a fool, he is also the property of the very same groups and corporations that desire to make this nation into a Hell on earth for every independent, intelligent, progressive and thinking human being. He is owned and operated by the people who know that the very last drop of profit can only come from destroying the health of real humans and the deaths of those who stand in their way. If you thought the reign of that imbecile Reagan was nauseating, then you ain’t seen nothing yet!

Do you think this is all a bit exaggerated? Perhaps, but whenever a Republican is in the White House (or loose anywhere else on the face of the earth), it is my policy to expect the worst while knowing that it can always go even lower. That’s not skepticism, gentle readers, that’s having a firm grasp on reality.

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Copyright 5/30/2000