Let's Play a Game of "Who Said This?"

    A few choice quotes I found in Fog Watch, by Edward S. Herman in the March, 2004 issue of Z Magazine (check them out at Z Magazine On-line) and I've made a little quiz out of them.  Never fear, it's a multiple choice test so the answers will be right in front of you, if you've been paying attention that is.

    1.    "I think all foreigners should stop interfering in the internal affairs of Iraq" 

        A. Ted Kennedy, Senator from Mass.
        B. Saddam Hussein, former dictator of Iraq and now poster boy for the regime's theory of "Capture anybody if you can't find Osama".
        C. Rush Limbaugh, the drug addled mouthpiece for any and all right wing evil he can pander to.
        D. Paul Wolfowitz, temporary dictator of Iraq appointed by the victors of the recent overthrow of the prior government.

    2.    "He [Saddam Hussein] has not developed any significant capabilities with respect to weapons of mass destruction.  He is unable to project conventional power against his neighbors."

        A. Hans Glick, UN weapons inspector.
        B. Colin Powell, one-time respected military leader and now just a plush pawn of this rabid regime.
        C. John Kerry, Democratic candidate for President in 2004 and aspiring Clinton-like centrist Republican.
        D. Dan Rather, CBS apologist for all Republican atrocities.

    3.    "We are able to keep his arms from him [Saddam Hussein].  His military forces have not been rebuilt."

        A. Condoleeza Rice, expert on all things relating to the defunct Soviet Union and militant attack dog in defense of the endless lies of Bush.
        B. Colin Powell (see above #2)
        C. Hans Glick (see above #2)
        D. Howard Dean, the better Democratic candidate for President that the conservative press ridiculed and insulted to protect the moron from a totally embarrassing loss in November.

    4.    "Just because we're [the opposition party], I don't think we have to come up with an alternative point of view if we think he is right."

        A. Wilhem Franks, Vice Chancellor of Mid-Bavarian Congress in regards to Adolph Hitler.
        B. Newt Gingrich, the disgraced Congressman and current advisor to this disgraced regime.
        C. Tom Daschle, Dem. Senate Leader.
        D. Robert Farrady, British leader, House of Peers.

   5.    "We won the mid-terms.  This is our due."

        A. Newt Gingrich, speaking of the destruction of the nation's social safety net for the elderly and poor after the 1994 election.
        B. Sen. Robert Hallington (Dem. Georgia), replying to a question regarding the impending impeachment of Richard Nixon.
        C. V.P. Dick Cheney, defending the third round of tax cuts for the wealthy.
        D. Former Pres. Bill Clinton, referring to the Democrat Party's wins in 1998.

    6.    "The economy is doing fine, but the people aren't."

        A. Alan Greenspan, commenting on the "jobless" economic recovery.
        B. Dan Rather, during a drunken exchange with some homeless people outside CBS studios.
        C. George Bush, speaking an entire sentence without making up any new words.
        D. General Emilio Medici, Brazilian leader in 1971.

    7.    There has been "no serious loss of life" resulting from the Bush bombing of Afghanistan because the regime followed "an almost pedantic policy of avoiding 'collateral damage'"

        A. Osama bin Laden, spoken in hopes of obtaining some of the same protection from the law that Jeb Bush's daughters received over drug arrests in Florida.
        B. Dan Rather, in another blithering apology for the carnage his soiled and perjuring hero Bush caused in bombing schools and private homes.
        C. Colin Powell, who figured he couldn't dig the grave for his reputation any deeper at that point, anyway.
        D. Christopher Hitchens, writer for The Nation magazine.

    8.    "They hate us because they're losers and we're winners."

        A. David Letterman, late night talk show host, who, directly after 9/11, couldn't quite figure whose butt to kiss the hardest rather than ask hard questions.
        B. Dan Rather, the spokesperson for the "Empty Heads Behind Desks Association".
        C. George Bush, when asked why real Vietnam veterans so despised him and his band of draft-evading thugs.
        D. Tom Brady, New England Patriot's quarterback, on why no one gives him any respect.

    9.    "George Bush is the president, he makes the decisions and, you know, as just one American, he wants me to line up, just tell me where."

        A. Dan Rather, exposing his complete disregard for journalistic ethics.
        B. Rush Limbaugh, further showing his complete disregard for journalist ethics.
        C. Pat Robertson, exposing his complete lack of, well, his complete lack of any sort of ethics..
        D. Tom Brady, explaining why he was going to fly commercial airlines to Disney World to prove that the skies are safe, once again.

    10.    "A cynical, mercenary, demagogic press will produce in time a people as base as itself."   

        A. Dan Rather, asking the public's forgiveness for being such a spineless weenie.
        B. FCC Chairman Michael K. Powell, son of Colin, explaining why he believed that ownership of the media should rest in as few hands as possible.
        C. George Bush, out to prove he can master sentences consisting of words of more than one syllable.
        D. Joseph Pulitzer, founder of the Pulitzer Prizes in journalism.

 

    Okay, here are the answers to our little quiz.

    1.    Paul Wolfowitz, who apparently believes that the American military is at home wherever it goes and should be considered "uninvited relatives", not "foreigners".

    2.    Colin Powell, back when he had a spine (in Feb. 2001 for those keeping track).

    3.    Condoleeza Rice, back before the real spin had been decided on (April of 2001).

    4.    Tom Daschle, who never had a spine to begin with.

    5.    V.P., Cheney, explaining just one reason why he prefers greed over decency.

    6.    That's from the General.  Who would have thought that this insane regime had historical heroes to worship?

    7.    Christopher Hitchens, a "reporter" who can lie with obvious ease.

    8.    Dan Rather, this regime's best little media whore.

    9.    That's the regime's little whore, once again, explaining why he will lie at the drop of a hat for the moron and his thugs.

    10.    Joseph Pulitzer, although this truth is becoming more reality than warning.

    So, how did you do?  There aren't any scores, of course, unless you're a student in a public school in which case any mistakes were caused by that terrorist organization, the NEA.


 

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Copyright 4/24/04