More Fun With "Who Said This? Pt. 4



    A. The new slogan on the home page of the Office of Homeland Security
    B. The new slogan on the home page for the Republican National Committee.
    C. The new slogan on the home page for Vice President Dick Cheney..
    D. The message, in French, on the washing tags of Tom Bihn's portable bags and backpacks (which they state refers to the company's president).

2.    "We're trying to explain how things are going, and they are going as they are going.  Some things are going well and some things are obviously not going well."

    A. Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld at a Pentagon briefing about Iraq.
    B. Los Angeles Lakers coach Phil Jackson, explaining their unusual season.
    C. CNN spokeswoman Tanya Harding, explaining why some ratings systems show them falling behind the FOX NEWS Network.
    D. California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger, explaining his relationship with the Democratic-dominated state legislature.

3.    "I just long for the day that I wake up and find that the Saudi royal family are swinging from lampposts and they've got a proper government that represents the people of Saudi Arabia."

    A. George Bush, during the 9/11 commission's questioning on his part in that event and before VP Dick Cheney punched him in the mouth to shut him up.
    B. Rush Limbaugh, during a commercial break in his syndicated radio talk show when he thought the microphone was off.
    C. Saddam Hussein, in a surprising admission to his American captors.
    D. Left-wing London Mayor Ken Livingstone, expressing his hopes for the future of Saudi Arabia.

4.    "It's gutsy, and pretty bizarre."

    A. Bob Kerrey, New School University president and member of the 9/11 Commission, on Pres. Bush sitting in Dick Cheney's lap throughout the committee's questioning.
    B. Los Angeles Mayor Kenneth Hahn, on finding that CA Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger had ordered National Guard troops to invade and occupy Los Angeles.
    C. Dick Cheney, on hearing that his lesbian daughter had been briefly married in Las Vegas over the last weekend to Britney Spears.
    D. Kirk Rossberg, president of California Retail Bakers Assn., commenting on two upscale bakeries operating out of the same building in LA.

5.    "Kerry will kill our nation while it sleeps because he and the Democrats have the cunning to embellish blasphemy and present it to the Arab and Muslim nations as civilization."

    A. An Al Qaeda communiqué endorsing President Bush in the 2004 election.
    B. Ariel Sharon, Israeli leader, expressing his fear if John Kerry is elected in 2004.
    C. French spokesman Jacques Mustarde, endorsing President Bush in 2004.
    D. Washington Post writer "Wingnut" McKenna, explaining to his Muslim readers why they should vote for Bush even though he has killed so many of their families in Afghanistan and Iraq.

6.    "It's like the fox guarding the hen house."

    A. Gen. A. Stincbaum, on allowing the Iraqi Army to take command of American military finances as per VP Dick Cheney and Halliburton's request.
    B. Rep. Ted Strickland (D-Ohio), on the regime's plan to replace government safety regulations on the nuclear industry with new regulations written by the nuclear industry's contractors.
    C. California Department of Fish and Game's R. I. Red, on the idea of using wild foxes to guard local hen houses.
    D. Robert S. Foster, Medicare's chief actuary, on allowing the pharmaceutical industry to write the new Medicare drug legislation.

7.    "We have very little evidence."

    A. President George Bush's spokesman Ron Derlust, responding to a question about Bush's qualifications for the office that he stole.
    B. An FDA spokesman, when asked by Congress whether there really is any danger in importing cheaper prescription drugs from Canada.
    C. Police Chief Dave S. Nothere of Seattle, on why drug dealers are being set free due to the loss of confiscated drugs while in police possession.
    D. NASA spokesman John E. Begoode, on the possibility of intelligent life on the planet Earth.

8.    "Being patriotic doesn't mean blindly following a criminal president into illegal and dangerous wars."

    A. Secretary of State Colin Powell, expressing his disgust at his own actions over the last four years.
    B. Pat Robertson, faux evangelist and right wing mouthpiece, during an alcohol inspired speech to the Log Cabin Republicans.
    C. Jello Biafra, punk rocker, discussing, an effort to get otherwise incoherent punk rock aficionados to vote in 2004.
    D. President George Bush, explaining why he refused to serve in Vietnam during his short time in the Texas Air National Guard.

9.    "As I was telling my husb - As I was telling President Bush ..."

    A. Laura Bush, beginning to distance herself from the little moron in preparation for a divorce when he loses the 2004 election.

    B. Former First Lady Barbara Bush, feeling a bit forgetful these days.

    C. Jenna Bush, talking to her twin Barbara Bush about their Uncle George.

    D. Condoleeza Rice, at a dinner party hosted by NY Times D.C. bureau chief Philip Taubman and his wife, Times reporter Felicity Barringer.

10.    "I stand by her 110 percent and she has my full support."

    A. President Bush, upon learning that Condoleeza Rice thought they were married.

    B. Rep. Max Baucus of Montana, on his wife, who was arraigned on a simple assault charge for attacking another female at a D.C. garden center.

    C. President Bill Clinton, on the news that his wife, Hillary, was planning to have him murdered before her 2008 presidential campaign.

    D. Sen. Hillary Clinton, on Monica Lewinski's decision to sue President Bill Clinton for sexual harassment and palimony payments.


1.    D.

2.    A.

3.    D.

4.    D.

5.    A.

6.    B.

7.    B.

8.    C.

9.    D.

10.  B.

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