The TV screen goes black. Maybe twenty seconds later it comes back to life but the latest mindless "reality" show is no longer on. Instead, a man in a t-shirt is seen sitting behind the president's desk in the Oval Office. His brown hair is worn long but not to his shoulders. Nothing about him, his beard, hair or clothing set him much apart from the average American. He looks squarely into the camera's eye, slowly blinks, then begins speaking.
Ladies and gentlemen, fellow Americans and to all the citizens on Earth, good evening. Who I am is completely irrelevant. Why I sit in this chair in this office is very relevant. As of 6 PM EST today, myself and a small band of Americans have taken possession of this office, this government and this nation. There is absolutely no reason to be alarmed or to fear the coming days and weeks. This was a peaceful coup and was supported by brave, patriotic American military men and women who saw that the world was on the last step towards a world-wide nuclear holocaust. They stood proudly to stop that horrible event and are at this moment securing all major financial, media, military, defense contractor and other important areas so that this nation will be able to begin a new chapter without pause.
Our first act upon securing the government offices was to arrest every major member of the current criminal regime including those sitting on the Supreme Court. There was no bloodshed, although Bush seems to be unable to speak clearly due to his sobbing and shaking. I assure all of you that we will tend to all of their immediate needs, both physical and spiritual. While we remain in control of the government, all detainees will be allowed immediate access to personal attorneys and family visits will commence in just a few days.
Our organization is in the process of gathering a lists of names of prominent attorneys and legal scholars who will be assigned the task of amassing all of the available evidence concerning the many, many crimes against America and the crimes against humanity that the world has been forced to witness with broken hearts. The form of these investigations will become clear over the next few weeks but, rest assured, each member of the former regime will be given every protection that the Constitution and the Bill of Rights guarantees every citizen.
That said, it is also time to undo the horrors that these thugs have inflicted on the people of this planet.
First, we, as a nation, extend our heartfelt apologies and sadness to all who have suffered at the hands of this nation, the global corporate mob and the toadies they placed into these high offices. Please believe me when I say that, from this day forward, America's focus will be on the human condition and no longer on corporate profits. Never again will any life be sacrificed for greed or for a sick love of power. That was never meant to be the American way.
As to specific policies we are immediately addressing, the most important is concerning the massive devastation in Iraq. Our first act has been to seize all records from the current regime as well as sealing off all offices of Halliburton and its subsidiaries and all other corporations doing any form of business in Iraq under contract with the American government. Investigations and audits will commence tomorrow morning and, if warranted, anyone found guilty of fraud, graft, embezzlement, misrepresentation or any other crime will be prosecuted publicly to the fullest extent of the law. On that same topic, all travel papers and passports for anyone being investigated have been revoked and anyone attempting to leave this country will also be charged with unlawful flight and held in a maximum security prison until trial.
We give the people of Iraq and the rest of the Middle East our promise that America will build no military bases in or near Iraq. We will never again be a colonizing nation. All work already in progress on military bases will be rededicated to peaceful purposes for the Iraqi people.
All contracts for work in Iraq are now null and void. Beginning today, these same contracts will be open for anyone to bid on. The conditions that will be imposed on those contracts will be simple. All major work will be accomplished using only Iraqi labor. Those workers will be paid the same wages as union members in the US and with the same general benefits. The leaders of each contracted activity will initially come from the companies winning the contracts but with the requirement that, within a year, all management personnel will be Iraqi citizens. ALL contracted business will be audited quarterly with particular interest in costs of labor and parts. There will NO war profiteering.
We humbly ask those who so deeply hate America and Americans to agree to a truce. We ask only that they watch closely as we cease destroying their nations, their families and their lives and begin the long work of rebuilding Iraq and creating a system in which all Iraqis will benefit from their labors and nothing is ever again stolen from them by armies and bombs. We invite them to participate in these great works, as well. We promise their safety but warn them that any degeneration to violence must be rewarded with capture and imprisonment. Our vow of non-violence can only be guaranteed with an equal vow.
The troops currently assigned to duty in Iraq will be rotated out as soon as the safety of Iraq is assured. It is of paramount concern to our government that not one more coffin be sent home and not one more limb be lost. Life is now the center of America's policies, not death or pain.
As we promise the people of Iraq, we promise no less to the people in America. Effective immediately, all economic and financial treaties are voided until further negotiations can be held. The sick control over human beings that these old treaties gave to corporations will never again exist. All future economic treaties will uphold human rights, the ecology of the planet and the peaceful intentions of the combined nations as the only starting points to these discussions.
America will never again wage a war of aggression. Be it known, however, that America stands ready to defend itself and any other democratic nation that comes under attack by any other nation. Aggressive wars will no longer be viewed as anything save the spasms of evil and ignorance. The leaders of that aggressive country will be treated as the sick, mindless animals they are.
All nations will be treated as equals who also treat their citizens and their environments with the same care any intelligent creature would expect. America will invest in any nation that expresses the same ideals of freedom and justice that we once again hold sacred. Democracy shall be the only requirement for inclusion under our umbrella. The absolute minimum requirements for any nation to be considered free and democratic will be:
1. The absolute freedom to vote and to run for public office.
2. The absolute separation of all religions from the functions of the government.
3, A free and independent press (meaning all forms of public media. America will set the standard on this - again, see below).
4. The right to assemble and petition the government for any redress.
5. The absolute right to freedom of speech.
With these basic principles as a foundation, democracy is certain to flourish. Those who shun the light and openness of democracy shall be excluded from all assistance and none of our partner nations will conduct trade with them.
Americans will once again find their moral convictions and strengths from the two greatest documents ever to be produced by man; the Constitution and the Bill of Rights. From this moment forward, all laws will be based on these two designs with no law ever again enacted to limit those promised freedoms. There is no such thing as a people that are TOO free.
The wall of separation between religion and government is once again standing strong. The government will not interfere with anyone's path to spiritual learning and no religious institute will ever again be allowed to involve themselves directly in government. To assure our future citizens that this wall is sturdy, any church or religious organization that can be proven, in a court of law, to have inflicted themselves into the socio-political realities of America will then and forever lose their tax-free status and will be required to pay back taxes from the time that their illegal activities began.
Immediately effective, as well, are America's new labor laws. While specifics will be hammered out over time, the following commitments are etched in stone. First, the minimum wage is no longer valid. From this day forward all Americans will be assured of a Living Wage. The precise level of that wage may vary slightly from city to city due to local costs of living but will always allow each family the opportunity to live and work and play without the constant fear of poverty and homelessness. Worker safety and health are paramount considerations. Full employment is the nation's goal.
On the topic of homelessness, America will no longer tolerate this basic violation of an individual's human rights. Shelters, funded by the government but operated by nonprofit organizations, will be created in any city that has the need. Those able to work will find employment in the many federal programs that will be created (see below) and those whose mental or physical disabilities preclude them from gainful employment will be treated for those disabilities under the system of universal medical and mental health care that America has long deserved (see below).
America will invest in universal health care in order to assure that ALL of its citizens have access to the same level of medical and mental health care available. Medical research will be funded by the government and companies that use that research to produce products will receive a reasonable profit margin. Any costs above the level of production will be a maximum of 5% profit, with any profit over that amount being considered excessive (windfall) and will become general government revenue. No physician nor hospital nor other medical/mental healthcare professional may accept any payments from any source save the universal healthcare model. ALL American citizens will receive the same level of treatment.
America will encourage those qualified to achieve the necessary education towards employment in the various health fields. This will be accomplished by pay levels that will reward those efforts over the lives of those so employed.
America will create millions of union positions that will repair, build and maintain the infrastructure any nation needs to continue its journey into a fair and just future. All highways will be repaired or rebuilt as will bridges, hospitals, airports, sea ports, as well as water and electrical transportation systems.
Education is the foundation of every democracy. Only an informed and educated nation can be entrusted with the powers that citizens wield in a democracy. With America's lackluster history of ignorance and apathy of the last thirty years as a negative model, and working towards a goal of excellence, all schools in the nation will receive the same per student funds as all the others. All schools will receive the funding necessary to provide books, equipment, supplies and whatever is deemed necessary for the student's needs. All schools will receive the necessary funding to repair, upgrade, or build the necessary structures to assure that every student is offered the best possible atmosphere in which to learn. Testing will be required for all stages of educational growth but the results will be used to improve the opportunities for all and not as tools toward financial or moral punishments.
ALL education, including all graduate or vocational schools, will be free to every American. Education is vastly too important to force students to take out loans and to saddle their working lives with the need to pay back those loans or to be kept from that education for any financial reason. On that same theme, there will NO private ownership of public education. Also, there will be NO public funds spent on any private or religious schools nor will they be excluded from the same requirements expected of the public schools.
Every child will be offered opportunities to grow within the structures of a day care environment. This will also enable the parents of these children to have the time and energy to create a healthful, happy home life for them. There will be very strict licensing requirements for anyone who is employed in any area of education in order to protect our children from any dangers of less than professional care.
Our elderly deserve our respect, as well. We will offer programs through the universal healthcare system that will care for them throughout their lives. In-home or convalescent care will be available.
The long lost and poorly named War on Drugs is now over. Anyone currently incarcerated for simple possession will be freed and the charges removed from their record. Those incarcerated for sales of small amounts will also be freed while those charged with large scale sales will be freed but the charge will remain on their records. America will provide treatment for anyone who asks.
The media will be returned to the people. America owns the airwaves and the people own the revenues from the airwaves. Television and radio corporations will lease those airwaves and will be required to renegotiate those leases every five years. No media corporation may own more than 5% of the media in any market. The government will provide funding so that local organizations may purchase any excess media in any market with the sole proviso being that each organization must provide one hour in primetime for shows that allow candidates and office holders to gain the audience necessary for a democracy.
These, then, are America's new promises to the world. America will remain strong but will behave peacefully. America will welcome the friendship of all other democratic nations. America is no longer the world's policeman but is now the world's partner and ally. America will lead the way to a better tomorrow for all.
For our own citizens, these are our promises. America is now the nation of inclusion it was meant to be. America will provide the people the basic necessities that will unerringly lead to the promised "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness". America again focuses on people and no longer on the greed and selfishness of the past. America will support the business community through benefits aimed at creating full employment, a safe and productive workplace and products that are designed and manufactured with the highest standards available.
This will be a long and difficult journey. There will be many who dream of a return to the evil and meanness of the past. To them I say "You are no longer welcome in America". Unless we act as one in our trek towards a sustainable and happy future, we will create more obstacles than we will remove. Therefore, as of today, wealth is no longer a measure of any human being's worth nor is simple athletic ability nor reciting the words of others. America now stands for those who give of themselves, who promote the betterment of mankind and who lead the way to that shining city upon the hill. Hero worship is childish and slows any nation's growth. Respect for the talents and skills of others helps any civilization to grow and mature.
We will relinquish the reins of power in one year. At that time, elections will be held for every office in America. As of today, all candidates for office will have access to all media equally. Campaign contributions, as well as any other form of bribery that has sickened and debased our democracy until now, are illegal. There will be zero tolerance for bribery in any form. Office holders will be paid a living wage while they sit in office and will receive the same benefits and retirement promises as the rest of America. The most basic reality of the end of bribery is this; take a penny or give a penny, go to prison.
This new America will be much more than this meager outline can describe. There are so many aspects of daily existence that must be considered and investigated before addressing those issues that a mere speech can't possibly embrace. Over the next year, America will be asked many times for its thoughts on various issues and the government will respond to those ideas and suggestions. America is, again, a nation of one man one vote. We welcome you all to the place that we have achieved and look forward to working with every citizen in making America what it can and will become.
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