In 1994, the state of Connecticut spent five million dollars (that's $5,000,000) on a state of the art, computerized tracking system to expose the massive Welfare frauds that the conservative Governor was convinced were occurring. In the next two years, a grand total of six, count them SIX instances of fraud were found out of the hundreds of thousands of Welfare clients. The cost to the taxpayers to lay open this horrible Welfare abuse? Why, just $833,333 per case. How's that for a fine example of the best and brightest having control over the lives of their citizens? Who says that the purveyors of lies won't exploit your tax dollars in vain attempts to prove their misconceptions (and then fail)?
Here are some other quickie facts and outrages:
Number of wars fought between countries that each had at least one McDonald's franchise - none. (The importance of this is unclear but the phenomenon was way too cool to ignore. Maybe we should develop an airborne strike force of Marines and Navy SeaBees to drop into the capitals of any country not currently hosting a McDonald's franchise. They could build one overnight, force the locals and military to buy something at gunpoint and, viola, no more war! World peace! In fact, they could immediately begin programs to get the country's weapons. You know, "Bullets for Burgers" or "Stingers for Shakes" or "A-Bombs for Apple Pies". Of course, that would make McDonald's a nuclear power and...oops, sorry. Got sidetracked. Won't happen again. Back to the column.)
Cost of corporate tax breaks attached to last year's minimum wage bill - $21.4 billion.
Estimated cost to restore, till 2002, the Welfare benefits to all disabled legal immigrants and children already in the nation when the "Welfare Reform" bill passed - $13.4 billion.
Of the number of tanks that the Republic of Yugoslavia promised, in the Daytona Accords, to destroy that it has actually destroyed - 300%. Amount of the promised $2 million in US aid for that work that has been delivered - $0.
Years of full time minimum wage work required to equal Mike Ovitz's Disney separation package - 6,708.
Percentage of the records that the Pentagon has "lost" regarding all Gulf War soldiers' chemical exposure - 76%.
Federal funds spent to gild Newt Gingrich's office ceiling, not counting the cost of the actual gold - $40,000.
Lobbyist Mark Siegal, in a memo regarding the GOP Congressman who is attacking Vice President Al Gore for fund raising on federal property, "Dan Burton solicited me over the phone from his congressional office..." Rep. Burton also asked Siegal to raise $5,000 from Pakistani-Americans and then complained to the Pakistani ambassador when Siegal failed to comply.
Rep. Burton has also been accused of threatening a lobbyist if he failed to raise funds for the lawmaker's campaign.
Oh, by the way, the number of illegal Republican fund raising activities Rep. Burton will allow to be investigated by his House committee? Absolutely none! Ah, fairness in government! Like a breath of fresh air, isn't it?
Percent of people polled by U.S. News & World Report who believe President Clinton will go to heaven - 52%. Who believe Pat Robertson will go to heaven - 47%. Who believe Newt Gingrich will go to heaven - 40%. Percent who believe Michael Jordan will - 65%. Who believe O.J. Simpson will - 19%. Who believe that they, themselves, will - 87%. (No info on Rep. Burton or Mike Ovitz.)
In the 60 days following President Clinton's State of the Union address, the New York Times ran 27 stories detailing the President's campaign finance woes and 3 about education reform, the centerpiece of his speech.
Not feeling satisfied, yet? Want more information you can't seem to find anywhere else and are afraid you might go into withdrawals before the next issue of the Advocate? Go check out my Web page. You'll find lots of interesting facts and trivia as well as all of my published columns and much more that's only available there. You have my money back guarantee that the experience will be worthwhile. (For details on this guarantee just send a SASE and $5, cash or money order, to me c/o this paper.)
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