An Overly Snide Political Comparison Column

Okay, let me see if I have this straight. This seems to be the attitude of the folks I've been speaking to and reading about of late (slightly paraphrased, obviously).

Abortion is murder but gunning down or blowing up an abortion clinic physician is simply doing God's work. In fact, sending our youth thousands of miles away to kill and die for a plentiful supply of cheap oil is okay, too. That's only a post-natal abortion, you silly.

Having a radio show in which I describe the correct method of shooting a federal agent is protected by the First Amendment but saying sexually suggestive words isn't.

A movie which depicts two consenting adults having a sexual relationship is dirty, filthy and depraved and should either be outlawed or at least be tagged with an X rating. An "action or horror movie" in which teenagers, women or other villains are slain by graphically stabbing, hanging, slicing, blowing up, running over with vehicles, or otherwise mutilating them is just good entertainment.

Same goes for "gangsta movies". Depicting the honor and glory of a drive-by killing is only representing life in the ghetto to those who don't live it but crime in America is out of hand and must be dealt with by extreme measures.

The Second Amendment allows me to possess any weapon I can acquire, up to and including weapons of mass destruction. I'm a hunter/sportsman, for crying out loud.

Prayer in schools means praying to my God but not any others. Same goes for ways of describing whatever I deem the correct method of describing creation.

Get the Government off my back and out of my life but keep those Social Security checks / farm subsidies / tax deductions / unemployment benefits / etc. coming.

Do whatever is necessary to stop crime even if it conflicts with the Constitution, but don't do it to me, I'm innocent.

Limit the appeals process for convicted killers sentenced to the death penalty (they're all guilty or the police wouldn't have charged them) unless I'm the defendant, or someone who shares my ideology is, since we've been railroaded by a corrupt government and police state.

Giving a sentence of three years in a minimum security "prison" and a fine of one billion dollars to a Wall Street broker who stole three billion dollars from investors is justice served, while a five year sentence in a maximum security prison to someone who is convicted of possession of a gram of cocaine is too lenient.

Put an end to our porous borders and stop those damn Mexicans from taking over our country, except for those I need to do the work that I deem too dirty and hard for myself.

There's nothing ironic and basically silly about politicians telling "Hollywood" how to clean up their house while openly selling themselves to the highest bidder in the guise of PACs and campaign donors and running for President. It is possible to legislate morality, right? (See Prohibition.)

Welfare is only a legal method for women and children to steal from the taxpayer's pocket but it's only good business for government to continue subsidizing corporations so that they can compete in the world's economy (while having record breaking profits and laying off an average of 2,000 employees a day).

Let's abolish the Department of Education. It's just a drain on our resources and, shoot, we rank 14th in the world as it is. What do you want, perfection?

No! I don't find it awe inspiring that a recent USA Today poll of high school students found that out of the ten most admired people in the world today, three were convicted or accused criminals (O. J. Simpson, Tonya Harding, and Mike Spinks) and two others were "action heroes" (Arnold Swartzenagger and Sylvester Stallone).

Liquor commercials are okay as are sporting events sponsored by cigarette companies. However, commercials for condoms to protect against fatal diseases should never be viewed by our fragile youth.

Well, I guess I've run out of room (but not ironies, I assure you). I remain unconvinced that America thinks.

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